


Secrets and Seclusion

by Moonie711



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Depressed Sans, Drabble, F/M, POV Sans, POV reader, Reader Has Issues, Sans Has Night Terrors, Sans Needs A Hug, Sans-centric, Weird Plot Shit, reader is female
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 01:33:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11220483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonie711/pseuds/Moonie711
Summary: Sleeping was hard, and despite popular belief, was not something I did very often.





	1. Insomnia (Sans)

Sleeping was hard, and despite popular belief, was not something I did very often.

I never looked forward to going to bed.

It was dark and lonely, really the only time of the day where I was alone with my inner thoughts- which wouldn't always start out bad.

I'd lay there in bed, reflecting on the day I had just had.

But slowly my mind would wonder to the dark recesses of my mind, and suddenly i'd find myself caught in a loop of memories that weren't mine.

were they mine?

I cant remeber..

You know how people always talk about dreams and the things they've seen?

Well,

I dont dream.

Or atleast I try not to.

Dreams are not what you call a ' _pleasant experience_ ' for me.

Infact: ' _nightmare_ ' would be the better term.

The dreams are so clear and vivid I clould swear they were real, almost like it was a peice of something.

Something that happened?

Something that's going to happen?

Or maybe it's nothing and im losing my fucking mind..

Seriously though my memory has gone to absolute shit since coming to the surface.

It was small things at first,

You know, i'd put something down somewhere and forget where I left it.

But then I realized I started losing minutes, or even hours-

Hell I wouldn't be surprised if i've forgotten entire _days_ at this point.

Papyrus thanked me for going to the store with him yesterday.

I didn't have a clue wtf he was talking about and couldn't recall a single detail as he enthusiastically went over the events that had taken place that day.

Honestly it scared the shit out of me.

Im sure it's the lack of sleep but im starting to feel disconnected from reality, almost like I cant tell whats real anymore.

I cant tell if im paranoid or if something is genuinely wrong but I feel like this is a dream and my nightmares are reality.

Like any day im going to wake up and end up right back in snowdin.

Like **none** of this had ever happened.

...

Even without checking I can feel it's late, the weight of the days events weighed down my tired eyes as they struggled to stay open.

Maybe,

I've lived in the past for so long i've forgotten how to look for foward to the future..

Maybe,

I just cant adjust to this new world..

Or maybe,

Im _afraid_..

...

By the time im able to silence my thoughts my eyes flicker to the clock.

**[3:48AM]**

I still have time to catch up on some sleep, but as I close my tired eyes the haunting images of crimson flash across my minds eye, and they snap right back open again.

Im exhausted, not just physically but mentally as well.

My head is going 100 miles a minute and my brain is fried.

I bring my hands up to my face and massage the temples of my skull, letting out a low growl of fustration.

I just want to sleep.

 _So bad_.

I cant imagine a more pleasurable feeling right now than to drift off to a dreamless slumber, engulfed in a warm darkness.

I roll over again with a grunt, struggling to get comfrotable as I try to ignore the bold red numbers staring me in the face.

**[6:52AM]**

Fuck i've wasted the whole night.


	2. Deceit (Reader)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp im not really sure how to start this shit off so I guess i'll just jump right into it.
> 
> My name is deceit.
> 
> Im the happiest motherfucker you've ever met.

Welp im not really sure how to start this shit off so I guess i'll just jump right into it.

My name is deceit.

Im the ~~happiest~~ , smiliest motherfucker you've ever met.

Im always pleasant and positive, acting cheerful to those around me.

They all buy into it too.

Every single word.

" _Good morning!~_ " I greet everyday, a huge grin on my face, making sure my positive attitude is on display.

I give words of encouragment, forcing my jubilant mood on everyone I see, pretending like im truely delighted to be there.

No one is ever none the wiser.

Even when im upset or angry.

I keep it down.

Force it away.

 _Smile_ ,

Dont forget to _smile_.

People are watching.

They're _judging_.

...

I fake it surprisingly well.

**=]**

Truth is?

Im sad.

Im angry.

Im just..

 _Tired_.

Do you know how exhausting it is to pretend like nothings wrong?

Like everything in the world is great and absolutely nothing bad can bother you?

I've gotten so good at faking it I've become completely distatched.

And now?

Now im bored.

I feel like im floating around.

Just waiting for something to happen.

Something..

Different.

I want someone to notice.

Someone to see it.

I **need** someone to see it.

To see _me_.

The _real me_.

And how fucking miserable I actually am.

So naturally I started fucking with the people around me.

Befriending them, acting like their best bud.

Then i'd go behind their backs and do horrible things to them.

Steal.

Lie.

Vandalize.

I've never been caught.

No one ever looks at me twice, like I could ever be capable of doing something like that.

Naturally I play along.

Listen to ther problems.

Act like I genuinly care.

And then laugh at them behind their back.

At how fucking stupid they are for trusting me.

They cant trust me.

Why would they?

They dont even _know_ me.

None of them care enough to even look.

...

And then I met _him_.

He was different.

He was ~~happy~~ smiling too.

But not overbearingly so.

He was more relaxed.

Chill.

Like he didn't give a fuck about anything.

And despite the permanent grin on his face, I could tell he really didn't.

He was like me, but smarter, because he instantly called me out on my shit.

"hey kid, something wrong?"

For the first time, in a long time.

My smile dropped.

How the hell did he _know_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot?
> 
> Maybe?

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts?


End file.
